Grooming for Growth: His Design for Friendship
Our generation of women today rely more on Social Media to relate to one another which has caused us to be less personal than ever before; think about it...when was the last time you stepped forward to greet and embrace someone you just met? We are being challenged as women in this generation to change the trend, we have been called here through Paul's letter to the Church in the City of Corinth:
Throughout our lives, God puts specific people in place to help guide us through in His light. Whether you can remember a time when someone of influence came into your life or that time is right now; it is His purpose for this person to speak words of wisdom over you. I can remember one very influential woman in my life that God placed with perfect purpose, unbeknownst to both of us at the time. She would offer a great deal of support to me in my spiritual growth, which was the Lord's preparation for a much higher calling on my life. Even though having someone in our lives to speak into us is important, we must also remember that WE too are in others lives for a reason! Think about it, you are a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker...the list goes on! We are speaking into others lives on a daily basis; whether it is uplifting or not...that is where we are being challenged to evaluate ourselves. In her book 'Lioness Arising' Lisa Bevere says, "It is important - no, imperative - that you have someone who speaks into your life in this manner, someone who guides your growth, and that you have those you are growing up."
How can we assure that we are grooming those in our lives? It is simple. We are a part of a community that helps each other keep our lives clean. To speak into each others lives as an influence, we must understand our relationships and how we see each other; to ensure that our words will be received. With that being said, it certainly doesn't mean that we criticize others way of living while we act as though our lives are perfectly holy; that is certainly not from God. As the old saying goes, 'cleanliness is next to godliness'; God's word paints a different picture in John 13:10 as Peter protested the foot washing but offered himself for the body cleanse before Jesus said to him, 'My concern, you understand, is holiness, not hygiene.' At the end of the day, Jesus' concern should be our own; this is what we are required because in our flesh, greed and indulgence run rampant. Our hands and feet may get dirty throughout the course of the day, but solace comes from our Father because He alone makes us clean. Holiness is a function of the heart more than it is hygiene. It's when our focus is on avoiding bad rather than on doing good that confusion happens. Remember that evil is overcome by good as Jesus went about doing good, not avoiding bad. The opposite of sin is virtue!
Many of us have encountered a 'closed rebuke' in our lifetime. The act of someone speaking about you behind your back leads you to question the sincerity of their disapproval. Even if they are correct in what they've said, it does nothing for your growth if you are not involved in the process. When people talk behind your back, you instinctively turn to the defensive which in fact does the exact opposite to your growth process. Growth comes from the face-to-face with a sincere friend, also known as the 'open rebuke', as it gives you the opportunity to respond to their comments on the situation.
In friendship, we must know and trust God's word in our heart. It may not be easy for us to accept words of discomfort from our friends, but it is this discomfort that is sometimes most important. Would you rather be given the pat on the back from an enemy leading you down the path of destruction? It is this insight that comes from our Father, He has given us the power to see good and evil; we must trust those that speak life to us even if what they say is not what our mind wants to hear. I want friends who will come to me first which is why I must be a friend who does the same!
Greet one another with a holy embrace. All the brothers and sisters here say hello. The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate relationship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you. ~ 2 Corinthians 13:12-14In order for us to fulfill this calling, we must move out of our comfort zone, because it is in that moment that God's strategies and ideas have the opportunity to flourish through us! Two invaluable traits, time and effort, are required from our flesh in order to groom each other effectively. Now you might think, what's the big deal..what time and effort is required for a hug? In our flesh we are very selfish, stubborn people with one agenda in life and that is to benefit ourselves; but in order for growth to happen it is our time and effort that are required.
Throughout our lives, God puts specific people in place to help guide us through in His light. Whether you can remember a time when someone of influence came into your life or that time is right now; it is His purpose for this person to speak words of wisdom over you. I can remember one very influential woman in my life that God placed with perfect purpose, unbeknownst to both of us at the time. She would offer a great deal of support to me in my spiritual growth, which was the Lord's preparation for a much higher calling on my life. Even though having someone in our lives to speak into us is important, we must also remember that WE too are in others lives for a reason! Think about it, you are a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker...the list goes on! We are speaking into others lives on a daily basis; whether it is uplifting or not...that is where we are being challenged to evaluate ourselves. In her book 'Lioness Arising' Lisa Bevere says, "It is important - no, imperative - that you have someone who speaks into your life in this manner, someone who guides your growth, and that you have those you are growing up."
How can we assure that we are grooming those in our lives? It is simple. We are a part of a community that helps each other keep our lives clean. To speak into each others lives as an influence, we must understand our relationships and how we see each other; to ensure that our words will be received. With that being said, it certainly doesn't mean that we criticize others way of living while we act as though our lives are perfectly holy; that is certainly not from God. As the old saying goes, 'cleanliness is next to godliness'; God's word paints a different picture in John 13:10 as Peter protested the foot washing but offered himself for the body cleanse before Jesus said to him, 'My concern, you understand, is holiness, not hygiene.' At the end of the day, Jesus' concern should be our own; this is what we are required because in our flesh, greed and indulgence run rampant. Our hands and feet may get dirty throughout the course of the day, but solace comes from our Father because He alone makes us clean. Holiness is a function of the heart more than it is hygiene. It's when our focus is on avoiding bad rather than on doing good that confusion happens. Remember that evil is overcome by good as Jesus went about doing good, not avoiding bad. The opposite of sin is virtue!
An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. A person who is full refuses honey, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry ~ Proverbs 27:5-7
In friendship, we must know and trust God's word in our heart. It may not be easy for us to accept words of discomfort from our friends, but it is this discomfort that is sometimes most important. Would you rather be given the pat on the back from an enemy leading you down the path of destruction? It is this insight that comes from our Father, He has given us the power to see good and evil; we must trust those that speak life to us even if what they say is not what our mind wants to hear. I want friends who will come to me first which is why I must be a friend who does the same!
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